I need a vacation from my vacation

My husband and I have never really had a vacation. We didn’t have a honeymoon after we got married. So this last weekend we scheduled a 4 day getaway to the beach. Nothing but relaxation and rest for 4 straight days.

Thursday was a great day, they upgraded us to a suite! It was literally bigger than our house. Unfortunately, it smelled like old lady perfume and moth balls. Thursday night my allergies started really bothering me so we asked for foam pillows and took the feather comforter off the bed.

By Friday my allergies were so bad we asked for a different room. They gave us a new suite that was just as big but no old people perfume. Unfortunately, by this time I realized my allergies weren’t allergies at all, but a cold…a bad cold.

Friday night we bought me some Nyquil, but because there was a small possibility I might be pregnant, we decided to get a pregnancy test and take it before I took the Nyquil. We were trying to forget about the wait, weren’t going to test at all, just let things unfold. But because I was sick and had to take the medicine, there really wasn’t a choice.

o I took the test. And it was positive! We couldn’t believe it. We were so excited. Finally, not thinking so much about it actually worked! I wasn’t going to do it, but I looked on my iphone app to see what the due date would be, what sign the baby would be. A Leo born August 6th.

We ordered up some room service and watched a movie. Every so often my husband would point to me and smile. High fives. I didn’t care so much that I was so sick.

Then I went to the bathroom and there was blood. My husband tried to convince me it was normal, that it was just spotting. But it wasn’t.

And then I got cramps.

I never would have known I was pregnant again if I hadn’t gotten sick. Such a cruel, cruel trick. We’re trying to figure out what to do now. I was taking the Lovenox, so it wasn’t a clot. Was it the Lyme? A co-infection? Should I start the other antibiotic? But that means taking 3 months off. Three months is a long time. And if the reason is just that I’m old, then continuing to try every month is the best thing to do, not take time off.

It’s getting harder and harder. And when I think it can’t get any harder than it is, it gets harder still.

2 thoughts on “I need a vacation from my vacation

  1. hi, I briefly read your blog posts while looking for humira effects on egg quality. I can sympathize with your feelings. I am 43, have been trying since 38. 5 ivf later only 1 BFP, miscarried a few days later. I have always produced more than 18 eggs in each ivf, but RE blamed the failure on egg quality. My own ob/gyn told me i have young ovaries but just poor quality. I found out i have immune issue at 42, now i found out high TNF number will damage egg DNA thus producing poor quality eggs. Had I known, i probably would have done it differently.

    Most REs are in the disagreement camp of immune issues.

    This is a long journey for the most of us. I wish you good luck.

  2. Hi,

    I would just like to say thank you for going to the trouble of writing this blog. We are about to become patients at Beer and reading this has been a big help.

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